Day 1 of Surviving...

Thank you Jenny for the idea.


     So day 1 of this deployment couldn't of started out any 'crappier'.
Our first morning without my husband, pretty much, started out like any other weekday.  I was up at 7:20 waking up my son, Gavin, and getting him started on his normal morning routine.  As I started the shower, I noticed a weird odor coming from him.  I asked him if he had wet the bed. (My son is 7.)  He said, "no."  And as I saw him pull his 'chonies' down...I noticed a big wet poo-poo blob in them!  UGH! I flipped out and yelled at him to sit on the toilet and finish pooping.  I was very tired this particular morning, so I decided to get back in my bed, and wait for him to be done with his shower.
      A few minutes later I heard the toilet flush twice, and he said he was getting into the shower.  So I screamed for him to make sure he washed up good.  I heard the shower turn off after 12 minutes, and decide to get up myself.
      When I get up to go to the bathroom, it was a HOT MESS!!  And the 'dirty' toilet bowl water is at the brim.  I try to unclog it, but nothing budges.  I yell for him, and make sure that he didn't flush his navy blue undies in the toilet.  And he swears he didn't.  Could his poop really be that big?!  As Gavin continues to do his normal morning routine, I'm in my elbows with a nauseating odor swirling all around me.  I swear I worked my arms out with that damn plunger.

    So after Gavin is gone, I'm exhausted!  Its already 9am by the time I decide to take a break.  What is a girl like me suppose to do in this situation??!....
     So, of course, I GOOGLED it!  "How to Unclog a Toilet without a Plunger".  And it brings me to this funny-ass video on YouTube! This young, asian college student had been in the 'same' situation.  Her video had me cracking up, and agreeing with her all at once!  And in the conslusion of her video, she recommends using dish soap and hot water.  *She swears it works.*  So I might as well give it a try...what do I have to lose?!

    Ancient Chinese Seceret, huh?!  It took a few flushes, but damn, that was a life saver.  By that time, it was 10:30 and I was in desperate need of a shower!!
    So I desperately wanted to visit my favorite store...Target.  And I knew that I couldn't make it there and back in time to pick up Gavin from school, so I decided to pick him up early.  On our way to Target I decided to ask Gavin about this morning.  He had already informed me that he had a great day at school, and even got a green sticker for good behavior.  So I say, "What's up with you? What happened to you this morning?"  He, of course, looks at me with this blank stare.
     I said, "Did you diarrhea?"
     He said, "No.  I don't know."
     "Well did you feel like you had to poop?"
    "No."........
     "So you just farted, and shit came out??!!"
     He says, "yes. I guess."
       LMAO!!!!!
      "So you SHARTED!!"
    We all started to bust out in crazy laughter.  But hell, thats what happened...my son sharted.  And as we drove away from the school, I could only think about my deployed husband.  Knowing that with his sense of humor, he would of been having a laugh at the first day I had without him as well.  <3 u.