At the beginning of this deployment, you might recall me having a run in with a child that did not seem to be my son. I refer to him as his 'alter ego'. I, personally, have still never met him, but I've heard that he is causing much havoc during school hours. After his last incident, I had a long 'talk' with my son. It included a rant on keeping his hands to himself, and lowering his chatter to a minimal, as well as some type of punishment. I naturally assumed it was his way of coping with the departure of his father. So be as it may, I was somewhat surprised to hear that the 'alter ego' had returned this past week.
So the 'mama joke' in my introduction may not have made any sense to an adult, but it was the cause to the inevitable return. And also the reason my son punched his good friend in the eye! Now this was really out of the ordinary to me, as well as the assistant principal. And without going into an endless list of particulars we spoke about during this meeting, I'll just get to the gist of it. The letters 'ADHD' came out of the principal's mouth. And without diagnosing him, she suggested him to be tested.
Avoiding the long debate, (and the stress those letters put me through), I'll just say that both my husband and I agree that we would NEVER put our child on the medication. Not only that, but we never saw the need for it in our son. In my opinion, that diagnosis seems to be tossed around commonly these days. So I decided to go about the rest of the week a little differently, and decide for myself later.
On Wednesday I, personally, spoke to his teacher. She eased my stress immensely. She said he shows no signs of ADHD and plenty of signs of common boyish behavior. I also learned that my son is not a distraction during class, but only a contributor to the already talkative bunch. And as he may have a great weakness in Math, he excels greatly in all his other subjects. After that report, I decided to change up our daily routine. On any other school day, we would get home, talk about his actions during school, and immediately begin his homework. But I could see with the stress both he and I were going through...we needed some type of relief.
And because the weather was so great...we hit the pavement! What other way could we release the stress??! As I ran around the track, both of my lovelies rode their bikes. And after my third mile, I saw my son park his bike and begin to run as well. After running, we stretched, and did our calisthenics as a family. We left the track after two hours. And as I started dinner at home, my son got through his homework at a record speed. I continued this routine for the next couple of days, and with the change in temperature it seemed as though the weather was with me.
By Friday I was keeping my fingers crossed for a great report. And my prayers were answered when the teacher had reported that he had a great day, and he had finished his classwork with no problems. And after some praise and a high five I walked my son (who seemed to be holding his head a little higher) to the truck, and drove him to the nearest department store a.k.a. Walmart. There he picked out a new set of minis for less than 5 bucks to add to his collection. It was the reward that I had promised if he had a good remainder of the week progress report. As a parent I want to be as involved with my children as I can be. I never want to turn to a type of medication to put myself at ease. And since I, personally, have never seen my son act out of the ordinary. Or act any different than any other boy, stuck in a house full of women, and no male influence at the moment; I felt no need for a scheduled doctor's diagnosis. I think it was time to change. Time to do away with the negativity, punishments, and lectures after his bad days. And time to reward the good behaviors that sometimes get pushed aside. And, maybe, this time he will learn that with great change comes great rewards.<3
Delilah, I totally think you did the right thing. Some children do really need medical or social intervention. But as a parent, we can often discern when that is or is not the case. I would often say that having boys lessened my worries. But honestly, boys need us to be vigilant about other things. Like needless medications, low ambitions, irresponsibility, and of course safe sex! So, high-five over cyberspace from one mom to another! ;O)
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